single/
Date Of Birth ; 0808
Current age . 20something
Occupation ; Model/Writer
Location . Mostly LDN,
♥♥♥_About Me.
♥ Punk ♥ Reggae ♥ Hip-Hop ♥ Ska
♥ Hardcore ♥ Politics ♥ Culture
♥ Social Awareness ♥ Language
♥ Maths ♥ Chaos Theory ♥ Activism
♥ Permaculture ♥ Anthropology
♥ Blonde ♥Blue Eyed. Boring.
♥ Never posts pictures. Lazy. ♥ Dance
♥ Friends ♥ Travel ♥ Family ♥ Writing
♥ Reading
thing you downloaded: Nothing
song listened to: Empire State of Mind - Alicia Keyes, beautiful song, and recently I'm really missing New York. The time I spent there was very romantic. Carefree, smitten and in new York. But I feels I really need to point out, this has nothing at all to do with E. item you read: Silly comments on Facebook. I hate how it's like one big party when it really isn't.
person you talked to: Marie. Love you!
item you purchased: Vitamins, make up. Could I be anymore exciting?
text you recieved: "This Friday! Hope you can make it. Would be awesome to see your beautiful face, Lady P"
text you sent: "I wish I had a private jet. I would be there in an instant. Love you xxx"
person you kissed: Still no comment
thing you did before filling this out: Checked me facebook.
thing you thought about: It was actually when I was writing that thing about missing New York, I started thinking about well, New York, and E. He was so damaged, and I really hate using that word, but I shared some of the wickedest times with him.
Some of the cast in my life story! I'll add more in time. Please don't be offended I I didn't list you!!
Stussy: BFF. Notable for her deathly palour, extraordinary talent, and wicked sense of humour.
Leni: Another BFF. Easy Going, Sweet, Funny, and Mother of my God Daughter.
Sam: Best BFF. Used to be my neighbour. Obssessed with Skateboarding. Would trust with my Soul.
Chilli: Chilled out BFF who has a weird half American Accent and a mass of red hair.
Pebbles: Cute BFF, impeccable dress sense, absolute sweetheart, and mother to Zakai.
J: On/Off Boy Thing. Overly Charismatic and vomit inducingly funny.
Jacob: X-Boy. Overly Complicated friendship. But otherwise a hardworking guy dedicated to the Cause.
Jake: My little brother. Quiet. Unassuming. Adorable.
Masie: Little Sister. Cute. Smart and probably set out to be the family genius (cause I failed at it.)
Johnny: New BF. Well new compared to the others. One of my favourite mischief partners.
Marie: Has the patience of a saint. Is my long suffering point of constant contact as my agent.
E: X-Boy. Had an On/Off Relationship for about 4/5 years. Sweet but broken. We have a weird friendship.
Kei: Leni's husband. Rockstar. And one of my favourite housemates ever. We made the best sandwiches.
Aidan: The one and original x-boy. My high school sweetheart. Nothing weird. Just wicked friends.
J hasn't called or text. I haven't called or text him either. It's such a mess. The last I heard was through a friend of a friend. He's not particualarly happy from what I can gather. But then, I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with it. Do I forgive and get on or do I make a point? There's a show on friday night. Do I go?
My mum says I'm too thin. Other people tell me I'm too fat. Does it even matter? I eat every day. I walk pretty much everywhere. I'm sick of trying to do the right thing by people. No one ever credits good behaviour. This world is twisted.
I'm so exhausted. Mentally. I'm not sure if I can morally define whats right anymore. Maybe I just need to sleep. Last night I dreamed I was dating someone I would loosely call a friend. I haven't seen the guy in months. He has no bearing on my life. It was so real. And the saddest thing was my reaction to his affection was...well at least someone cares.
I'm not in a happy place. Everyone seems to be gone. Everyone seems to have their own shit to deal with. I have so many friends, aquaintances, people I adore and would give my life for but I still feel so lonely.
Everyday I'm forced to address these tiny fractions of my body that just don't live up to the norm. My social conscience sits on my shoulder judging every action I have to partipcate in. All I want to be is a good person. All I want is some vaguely harmonious semblence of life. Every action I take seems to be some sort of mistake that gets magnified and played out in slow motion.
I don't even know what to write. I already sound like a tragic teenage serial drama. I'm just having a big fat cliche. I know every optimist will tell me how good I have it. I'm not disputing that. I'm just saying I'm having a personal meltdown. There's so much going on that I haven't even mentioned. I'm brain dead. I want a break.